Page 3 of THE SUN,aside from the usual,has a picture of Madonna walking with a "purple penetrator" in a see through bag. What kind of message is this sending to people,that the Queen of Pop is banging away at herself listening to Def Leppards "Animal?" Hope so. Big game tonight. Im Mclarens biggest critic,theres a canny few of them,but you have to say he decent sized balls to play both Heskey and Barry on Sat,lets hope he hasnt emptied them since then. A lot of people say to me "Glenda" for 'tis one of my many pseudonyms,they say "Glenda, have you any tales from your time in the Delta?"
"Plenty," I usually reply with great gusto,"particularly the time I rescued 5 sand monkeys from the clutches of Dr Yachtgrape. They were precious and sacred to the Yogurt tribe of East Delta,creating great friction among the masses. Sand monkeys are the only monkeys that can give the time to the exact millisecond,therefore making them invaluable to the Yogurts. I resolved the situation by harpooning Dr Yachtgrape through the foreface,his one weakness." More tales of secular injustice at a later state.